Alchemy, Thaumaturgy & Theurgy
Adventurers!
We are the only magic item supplier you need anywhere in the multiverse planes and diverse dimensions.
We make durable, enchanted weapons, armor, magic devices, and custom orders are our specialty! We fully support what we sell, with real-time telepathic customer support options available from any of the multiverse planes.
We service adventurers from Greyhawk, Ravenloft, Faerûn, Dragonlance, Golarion, Golantha or any of the myriad singular domains of unknown gods and strange creatures in which you may find yourself.
Weapons
Our weapons are designed with comfortable grips, and streamlined to keep you connecting with your foes, dealing deadly damage, battle after battle. Check out our sharpening stones and other accessories!
Armor
Our armor is made from the strongest and lightest materials available, and come in assorted styles and colors. Nobody has your style, and your armor should make a statement about your experience!
Devices
Rings, earrings, jewelry, watch fobs, wands, rods and everything you’re going to need for success are available at great prices! Heirloom magic items for the entire adventuring team! Get your customized items with a lifetime guarantee! Discounts on recharging!
Restorative Services
Recover from your injuries andrebound to perfect health. Our clerical healing services and magic items can be the difference between renown and being a clown. Our clerics are battle tested, and will be charged with your deliverance from injury from our nearest outpost.
Support
Our highly knowledgeable and dedicated support staff are available at any time via your telepathy stone, which is issued when you become a client. They resolve most issues with our products on one call. See your dealer for pricing.
Combat Planning
How do you fight a room full of beholders with just a band of bards? No matter what kind of battle you need to prepare for, call our qualified combat masters to help you with the right strategies and tactics to be successful!
NOTE: As much fun as it would be to provide actual merchandise and services for in-game hilarity, it would be difficult and expensive, if it were even possible.
This page is a parody of some aspects of table-top fantasy role playing games (TTFRPGs). What would customer support look like for your character in the game? Not a number for the player to call or text, or a resource for the DM/GM, but a connection beyond the bonds of the multiverse planes. So if you got a chuckle from this page, or you’re going to include Alchemy, Thaumaturgy & Theurgy in your campaign please consider buying me a coffee. Thanks much!